Greetings shopper and clubcard owner. Welcome to the new Tesco website. Today could be your lucky day, but only if you have accumulated over 1,000,000 points on your card.
As a special reward you can choose a horse of your choice! Simply hover your cursor over the mare that looks the tastiest, click, and we will deliver it to your door (minus the head)
We will not only slaughter and prepare the horse, but we will also leave you with the rope that we used to lasso it with. After all these years of loyalty from our customers we thought it high time we introduced a new meat into our stores nationwide. If you have not reached the magic number on your card neigh matter. We will be treating our 500,000 points (and above) club to a sett of badgers recently culled and marinated in pigeons blood. We recommend wrapping them in our Everyday Value (TRADEMARK) bacon for added flavour.NOM NOM
You could say that today your horse came in! (But please be aware it will arrive in smaller parts, without the saddle, stirrups and vitality) for your dining pleasure. Clickety Click!